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What does it mean to be “Taken in Hand”?

An accurate representation of what my Wedding Night will entail.

To “take in hand”, in American English, according to collinsdictionary.com means to “to take control of or responsibility for”. In BDSM terms, to be “Taken in Hand” means for a wife to submit, in the traditional sense, to her husband. He has the final say on all decisions, and he makes the rules; with the possibility of incurring painful and humiliating corporal correction for wilful disobedience.

Domestic Discipline, often abbreviated to DD, will be defined in this blog as the practice of fully consensual corporal discipline between two competent adult partners in a relationship. The key word here is consensual – if there is none, then that is domestic abuse. In order to consent, one needs to actively choose this way of life. The trap traditionalists and feminists alike often fall into is to forget this fact. The burgeoning, controversial Tradwife movement has ties to the so-called “Alt-Right” movement and is very anti-feminist. Any outfit that tries to tell women what they should and should not do while embodying a philosophy that was once favoured by the Nazis will not be endorsed here!

Basically, feminism is about choice. You can choose to work or you can choose to stay at home and keep a house. If your husband (yes, I am being deliberately heteronormative here, but all other relationship configurations and sexual orientations are equally valid!) is in a position to “keep” you, then one can obviously make that choice, so long as he agrees of course.

After spending twenty years working, I have decided to make that choice. My marriage will be kinky – some hardcore DDers are adamant that Domestic Discipline has nothing to do with BDSM – often, although not always, they are practitioners of Christian Domestic Discipline, (CDD) and religion does not form any part of our dynamic – my husband-to-be and I enjoy many aspects of BDSM, and the domestic setting will add a certain piquancy. Indeed, under the BDSM umbrella, safety and sanity is assured. There will be no danger of using DD or CDD as an excuse to domestically abuse your partner.

I am walking into this life with my eyes wide open.

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